|This page uses content from Wikipedia. The original article was at Wikipedia:The Truth. The list of authors can be seen in the page history. As with GunZ: The Duel, the text of Wikipedia is available under the GNU Free Documentation License.|
|This isn't an essay, really. It is so obviously a policy because of the deeply formal tone and level-headed advice it presents.
In fact, this page is so well-written that you shouldn't update the page, or discuss it on the talk page. If you decide to change the page, make sure you have the agreement of the entire community (make sure you contact each member individually).
The Truth is a unique force in the universe. The Truth is holy, wholly and hollowly true. However, despite its inarguable power, acceptance of The Truth is not yet universal. Some foolish editors may try to remove The Truth from Wikipedia. Here are some guidelines on how to identify The Truth, and how to deal with these foolish people.
Characteristics of The Truth
It is sometimes hard for the uninitiated to differentiate between simple facts or opinions and The Truth. Some defining characteristics of The Truth include:
- The Truth, unlike an opinion, is not open to reasonable debate. Any reasonable person presented with The Truth will agree with it, so by definition, any debate or resistance must be unreasonable.
- The Truth will encounter great opposition. Normally, unreasonable people can be placated by making up some unreasonable arguments, and to make sure that you don't just have a boring old fact, this should be tried. The Truth, however, will be vehemently opposed by nearly everyone, making large amounts of opposition from many people clear evidence of being The Truth. Remember, don't feel discouraged when you are the sole bearer of The Truth. Eventually, reasonable people will come and agree with The Truth, and although you may have to bully many people away, The Truth will be written on Wikipedia.
- The Truth is appropriate everywhere. Mere facts can sometimes be irrelevant, such as the molecular structure of a lettuce leaf in an article on Albanian politics. But The Truth is always relevant, and should be included everywhere that text can be put.
- The Truth does not require verification through reliable sources. That sort of thing may be necessary for mere "facts", but we're talking about The Truth here, people!
- The Truth is best communicated through repetition. The first attempts to insert The Truth into Wikipedia are often met with resistance in the form of three-letter acronyms and references to "policy" and "consensus". When other editors oppose The Truth in such a manner, the most likely explanation is that they have not heard it repeated frequently enough.
- The Truth will cause the blinders to fall off your eyes whereby you will fall to your knees and weep causing you to take up the valiant charge against those poor unfortunate souls who just don't get The Truth. Conversely those who refuse to see The Truth are death choosers and will always devalue life.
- The Truth takes no pronouns in any language, because The Truth is cool like that.
- Though everyone thinks they know The Truth, nobody actually knows The Truth except you.
- The Truth is out there.
Defenders of The Truth
Obviously, The Truth needs defenders. These noble souls, who fly in the face of "consensus" and "verifiability", refuse to kneel to the power of disagreement, knowing that in the end The Truth will prevail. The best Defenders of The Truth will repeatedly make the same argument that The Truth is correct, hoping some will come to find the error of their ways and repent to support The Truth. After a couple days of doing this, enough people should have converted to The Truth that there is no question it will stay. This is the ideal situation for The Truth.
Remember, nobody believed Einstein, Newton, or Galileo at first, either. You are exactly like those men. Only righter.
Opponents of The Truth
However, not everyone is willing to understand The Truth. There are some who will oppose The Truth eternally, and you must be aware of certain things about them.
- They will probably try to have a reasoned argument with you. However, the first characteristic of The Truth dictates that this is logically impossible. Therefore, they must be irrational people, and no purpose is served in interacting with them in any way (although a light scoff may make you feel better). You can safely ignore the people who do this, and continue with your method of repeating the same argument in the face of irrational opposition. The Truth only needs one argument!
- They may demonstrate that everyone disagrees with you. This is likely to be true, but make sure to maintain indifference! If you're trying to bring The Truth somewhere, then clearly it doesn't already exist there. And if it doesn't exist, then there must logically be a cabal obstructing it. Most cabals are so sneaky that no possible investigation will prove their existence! So, just remember, anyone who opposes The Truth is unreasonable or part of a cabal, and both groups of people can safely be dismissed. Try that light scoff again.
- If they caballed their way through RFA, they may use their rollback tool to revert you faster, and they may even block you! If you are blocked while contributing The Truth, you should make a couple hundred sockpuppets, preferably with names like Wikipediaiscensorship, Imrightandyourewrong, or Endtheeviladmincabal. Now, use most of these accounts making complaints to WP:ANI or various admins' talk pages about your block. After that, file an Arbcom case against the admin who blocked you, all editors who disagreed with you, and anyone who reverted your ANI postings. Make sure to involve all your sockpuppets in the arbitration proceedings, either to provide support for your side or to make the other side look stupid. Also remember to reserve a few; that way, in case YOU end up banned instead, a mysterious and unbiased editor can show up a week later and note what a huge injustice it was.